How much porn is too much porn?

Porn addiction is a type of compulsive behavior, sometimes referred to as a “behavioral addiction.”

Other common behavioral addictions are compulsive gambling, shopping, eating, sex, and video games.

These activities are typically pleasurable, and some are even necessary for survival.

Engaging in these behaviors becomes problematic when we lose control. When the impulse becomes too overwhelming and we give in despite experiencing negative consequences.

We get trapped in a destructive cycle because once we’re hooked it’s hard to recognize the damaging effects.

Since porn tends to be a solo activity, we can keep this secret for a very long time. With no one around to keep us in check, how can we know if we’re overdoing it?

Sign # 1: Neglecting Your Responsibilities

You’re increasingly using pornography to escape from the realities of daily life. Are you putting off filing your taxes, paying your bills, grocery shopping, or getting your car fixed in favor of watching porn instead? Responsibilities are stressful and some tasks are just dull and unappealing. Porn becomes an easy distraction and a temporary relief from the boredom and stress of regular life. 

Sign #2: Missing Out On Sleep

You didn’t plan on staying up all night, but time just got away from you. One video after another, after another, and all the sudden it’s 4 AM. You can’t believe this happened again. You’re late for work, exhausted and irritable. Restful sleep is an essential part of maintaining good health. When porn habits spiral, physical health takes a backseat.

Sign # 3: Isolating Yourself

Are you skipping out on social events because you’d rather go home and watch porn instead? Do you find yourself looking forward to this alone time and becoming less interested in socializing? One perk of porn and masturbation is that you can meet your sexual needs on your own without having to worry about anyone else. 

Sign # 4: Taking Risks

Your porn habit is spiraling if you find yourself viewing sexually explicit material in risky or inappropriate situations. On the subway? At work? At family dinner? While driving? These are signs that you’ve become desensitized to porn and are socially checking out. Viewing porn is such a normal part of your routine that you’ve stopped paying attention to where you watch. In this state of mind, you don’t realize everything you’re risking.

Sign #5: Moral Dilemmas

At this point, you’re developing sexual interests that conflict with your morals. You find yourself getting bored with your typical genre and start experimenting more. Before you realize it, you’re seeking out more intense or deviant content. Maybe you’re even developing a preference for it. But after you orgasm, you feel guilt and shame.The conflict between your sexual interests and your moral compass leads to emotional distress. Intrusive thoughts about this may come up at times when you are not sexual, like while commuting to work or cooking dinner. 

Sign #6: Real Sex is Unsatisfying

You’ve developed new sexual interests based on the porn you’ve been viewing. Porn takes place in a fantasy world that just isn’t matching up with reality. Your partner isn’t meeting expectations and the sex isn’t satisfying. Arousal is minimal and orgasm is almost impossible. You feel confused, embarrassed and ashamed. You wonder if real sex is worth all of this stress. Afterall, you can satisfy your sexual needs on your own with porn and masturbation.

Sign #7: Losing Touch with Reality.

Porn is consuming you. It’s taking over your thoughts, mind, and attention. You imagine pornographic scenarios playing out in various situations during your day-to-day life. While at work you imagine being seduced by your boss. You entertain these fantasies so much that you’re starting to lose touch with reality. Overly sexualizing situations and people is causing you to misread social cues. You sense flirtation where there is none. This can lead to sexual misconduct if you aren’t careful. 

Sign #8: Paying to Act Out Your Fantasies.

You’re watching porn all of the time and fantasizing about it when you can’t watch it. Regular sex isn’t satisfying and the porn isn’t enough either. You’re getting bored of just watching videos and are in desperate need for some human contact. You’ve been obsessing over a few specific porn scenes, and replaying them repeatedly in your mind. After fantasizing about it enough, you’re ready for the real thing. Finding a sexual partner willing to play along is too much work. You’ve already waited too long and are out of patience. Paying for a sexual service is a quick fix. As you continue down this path of transactional sex, you’re becoming increasingly detached from the people in your life. Be careful! This is another step in blurring the lines between fantasy and reality.

The Takeaway

Pornography appeals to our basic human needs. It can be helpful, harmful, or neutral — depending on the person and situation.

Many negative effects are indirect and not widely discussed.

Recognizing the signs allows for a proactive, thoughtful, and individualized approach.

Interested in learning more about this topic? Let us know in the comments below.

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Are you tired of battling your porn addiction on your own? If you are feeling up to it and live in New York State, book your free 20-minute consultation with a professional.

This content is intended for informational purposes, and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, therapy or treatment.